An Emotional Blind Spot (an original story...)

She sat in the Starbucks cafe, sipping her coffee and staring out of the window. The blood stained knife lay next to her handbag, covered with her blue silk scarf. She sat alone, shaking. She wished she drank alcohol, it might steady her. A strong Americano was the next best alternative. She struggled not to cry.

It all started while her son Amit was in the tenth standard. Being a single parent for the last five years, getting her son admitted in the same school as where she taught was a big relief. It had not been easy for her to convince the principal, who firmly believed that a child would get pampered beyond cure, if he or she studied in a school where his or her mother taught. It was a rare case where he relented; after all her skillset was also rare, a double masters and a doctorate from the Oxford. Only a fool would let her go. At the same time, she was warned to be extra cautious, so as not to allow her son have an unfair advantage of her presence. That day she decided that while in school, she would maintain a measured distance from Amit. It was this over-caution of hers, which had resulted into her current fate.

She could vividly remember this girl; she had first spotted her talking to Amit outside the school, on the day when she had asked Amit to wait, while she completed her e-mail, confirming her participation in the 6^th World Environmental Science Congress. As she walked out, Amit had introduced Jiah to her. Jiah had a lovely face, green eyes, she was tall, a little well-built for a girl, but it was her captivating smile which made her so attractive. She guessed that Jiah would be in either eleventh or twelfth standard. She guessed it correctly, Jiah was in-fact in twelfth standard, but she was from a different school. Then what was she doing here and why would she talk to Amit? Before she could enquire, Jiah received a phone call and she mentioned that her mother was waiting for her to have lunch. And in the next moment she was gone. Wasn’t it a little too sudden, was her first thought? But she realized that she was paying too much attention to what possibly was too trivial.

She was astounded by Amit’s reaction when she tried to talk him out for attending the conference. A boy who would normally cling to her, make hundred excuses for why she shouldn’t go, had to be bribed for letting her go, this time simply asked where was she going and when would she be back. This was a marked departure from his normal behavior. Was something amiss, was her immediate thought. When she questioned Amit, he was evasive. When she pestered him to react as he would normally do in the past, he almost shouted at her, saying she was confusing him. Was it something to panic about? Her thoughts were broken by the ringing of the doorbell. As she opened the door, expecting the cook, she was quite surprised to find a stranger standing at her doorstep. Before she could enquire, he asked if Amit was at home. As soon as Amit saw him, his face whitened, and he uttered the stranger to leave. He stood there watching, and after a while, he stomped off. She demanded an explanation from Amit but got no answer from him. She felt extremely concerned, more so, imagining if this incident was any way connected to the last incident where she met Jiah, who was also a stranger.

If it was not for the assurance from her friend and colleague Salma, she had called-off the trip. Salma, who had joined her school as a sports teacher six months back, met her in her office and reminded her of how many days and nights she had devoted to prepare for this conference. It would be a shame if she did not attend it, as it was only two hours away by flight and especially when she herself was the host.

This time she was more emotional than usual. Unlike until all the previous years, Amit had refused to accompany her, to see her off at the airport. He simply wouldn’t budge and continued to watch a cricket match instead. While on the flight and array of thoughts crossed her mind; had she taken the warning from the principal too seriously, which had unintentionally created a distance between her and Amit; was it Amit’s father’s absence which was making Amit behave like this; do all boys of this age act similar. It didn’t stop there. In the dim light of the cabin of her two hour flight, she reflected whether her decision to marry Saif, while she coming from Hindu Brahmin family was correct; had she been too fast to ask for divorce from Saif, when she had accidently discovered that Saif had a daughter from a previous marriage, but when challenged, he refused to confess either.

It was the shrill voice of the air hostess announcing bad weather which forced her to wake-up. She couldn’t sleep after that as the same thoughts kept on bouncing her head, until the aircraft had a touchdown. She paid no attention to the warning from the airhostess that she couldn’t use her cellphone until the aircraft came to a complete halt. She decide that she would call Amit anyway. The phone bell rang till the end but there was no reply. She tried again, again no answer. She tried the third time, this time also no reply. She got panicky and started crying. She was least bothered about the reaction from her fellow passengers. At that moment, for her, it was as if they didn’t exist.

While she was picking her luggage from the belt, her phone flashed her favourite photo of Amit. While it rang, she felt an extreme sense of relief. It was as if all her prayers had been answered. She said hello, but from the other side, it was not Amit’s voice. It was the caretaker Shyam who announced that Amit was not at home. Realizing that it was almost eleven in the night, she again panicked. It took some effort on her part to insist upon Shyam to tell her when had Amit left and was he alone. Shyam revealed that Amit had left around nine with a girl who was almost her age. She almost sank. She felt sure that it would be Jiah only with whom Amit had gone. After a scolding, Shyam also added that after Amit had left, a stranger had come and had handed-over a small packet for Amit, asking Shyam to give it to only Amit and no one else. Now she felt troubled and sick.

After an hour’s cab ride, she checked-in one of the best hotels in the city, which was booked by her organizers, but she was not comfortable. The whole episode was getting on to her nerves. She called Amit’s number once again and when she found Shyam speaking she just cut the call, and without bothering that it was quite late in the night, she called Salma. After a few rings, she heard a sleepy voice of Salma, asking her what’s the matter and if she was fine. She explained to Salma, citing the incident of the stranger coming to her house and delivering a packet to be handed over to only Amit and no one else. But she intentionally skipped mentioning to Salma that Amit was not at home and that had gone out with a girl, contemplating what Salma would think about Amit. Salma dissuaded her fears and asked her not to worry and that Amit would return soon. She felt a little relieved.

While she was disconnecting the call, she felt as if she had heard Amit’s voice. Initially she thought it was her emotions which were playing on her to think like that, but she realized that being Amit’s mother, she wouldn’t mistake somebody else’s voice for that of Amit. She decide to call Salma again and this time although she spoke to Salma on the pretext of thanking her, her ears were searching for Amit’s voice. She strongly felt it was actually Amit who was speaking to somebody in the adjacent room, possibly a girl, who was giggling on his jokes, however when being enquired, Salma flatly denied. She directly asked Salma who was the girl who was giggling and got a reply that it was Salma’s daughter Jiah! She abruptly cut the call and she was speechless.

She couldn’t fathom that Salma would lie to her so blatantly. She felt a fit of rage engulfing her. She imagined if Salma was the first wife of Saif and Jiah was their daughter. Still worse, if Salma is still Saif’s wife. Oh my goodness, was she blind till now. She concluded that this was a plot devised by Saif to snatch Amit back from her and that Salma was a deeply involved in this conspiracy of Saif. She packed her bags and reached the airport in wee hours. She took the first flight available to reach back to Amit. Her motherly emotions were playing a havoc on her. She wanted to save Amit from Saif, she wanted to take revenge from Salma for breaching her trust, and she wanted to punish both of them for using Jiah in this whole episode. After landing back, she decided to straightway go to Salma’s house. But she decided to first double-check about Amit at her house, before accusing Salma.

As soon as she opened the door of her house, she found the same stranger on her dozing off on her sofa. While she challenged him to reveal his identity, the stranger demanded money for the drugs he had supplied to Amit. On listening this, she felt as if she has lost the world. Her fit of rage re-appeared, and she attacked the stranger with full force with the knife she spotted on the dining table. She was more astonished by the amount of force with which she could attack the stranger and less by how weak he was. Within no time she had gravely injured him on his chest. He ran for his life out of her house. The moment she was alone, she lost all her control. After a while, she regained her composure, wrapped the knife in her scarf, picked up her car’s keys and drove towards Salma’s house. She couldn’t drive beyond a point. She spotted a Starbucks café and she entered.

While sipping her Americano, she called Salma. She lashed out on her a great deal of verbal assault, leaving nothing more to share. When she quietened, Salma started crying. She informed her that Amit was indeed with her and they were immediately coming to meet her. Those moments of waiting for seeing Amit seemed to be ages to her. Finally she saw her boy, looking extremely concerned, entering the café, followed by Jiah and Salma. It didn’t take long for Salma to explain to her as to how Amit had befriended Jiah at a party very soon after Salma & Jiah had moved-in the city but he would feel shy to share this with her; how around six months back he was forcefully asked to taste drugs by some classmates; how after that episode he was stalked by the drug-peddler; how unsure Amit felt to share this with her because of the self-imposed barrier between them, which was prevalent at home too; how he revealed all of it to Jiah who shared it with Salma; how Amit felt that this conference is critically important for her and that he would feel safer at Jiah’s house and finally that Salma and Jiah had nothing to do with Saif.

She closely hugged Amit and cried, thinking what fool of her to have been hit by such an emotional blind spot.